[can be. he doesn't have to say it, lifting his eyebrows looking at the wall. but when she kicks off her shoes, he can't help the way he glances over his shoulder, eyes drawn down her long legs to her feet before he can put himself back on task. he's so distracted he almost doesn't hear her, but then he's trying to make sense of the words the way she'd said them, his fist crumpling the rag in his hand and resting against the wall for a moment, immobile. ]
I kind of figured that out when you kissed me.
[ his heart beats a little quicker, to lay it out like that. it also helps that matt had asked him about elektra like 50x before she even showed up, but really: it was the kiss. even frank castle isn't that dim. ]
[Stop making her laugh, Frank! Her head ducks again and she just grins, because this weird little moment makes her happy. Almost like he's picking up on that, Max lifts his head and scoots across the floor on his belly to lick at Karen's knee. She gives him more affection before slipping her hand over to rest over Frank's. She's not trying to wipe the wall at the same time he is, she's just giving him some support. They're basically done, anyway.]
[ the touch to his wrist has his belly doing flip-flops, still remembering how it hurt before but able to separate it better now after so many days had passed. and after his friends had helped him past it, like elektra and kamala and rogue. he isn't sure what he did to deserve this veritable support panel, but he's realized he can't reject them on principle anymore? baby steps. ]
Okay. [ his voice sounds a little rough, distracted maybe, but then he's getting up from the mostly clean (good enough) wall and snagging a hand around her waist to yank her up alongside him. ]
[She grabs her heels on the way back up, not bothering to put them back on. After glancing at his hand on her wrist she slips her hand up so she can take hold of his. The contact makes her stomach do a little flip, and because of it she blurts out a stupid sounding Okay in return.
Nothing else is said as they walk the short distance to his room, Max close on their heels. Her eyes look around his space as they enter it. She's been here before, but the circumstances around her being here are a little different this time around. ]
When did the pain go away?
[Now that they're in private, she can ask him about this.]
[ he doesn't think it's stupid-sounding, especially when her hand secures his around her middle, more-or-less forcing him to walk as close as he can, holding her against him as they go. he's careful of her bare feet though, his boots and max's making up the difference in the sound her shoes aren't making.
frank reluctantly lets go of her to unlock the door from his communicator, but apparently he'd forgotten to lock it in all the excitement anyway and the door slides open for the three. he ducks inside, immediately going to remove max's boots and rub his doggy legs in sympathy before going to remove his own. ]
It's... Now, looking back, I think it was only a few hours. But at the time, it felt like it would never stop. [ he swallows, glad his face is turned down and away from her. how does he explain the weird psychosomatic trauma that lingered far after the physical pain ended? that he had to be alone to figure it out because he couldn't stand the thought of her hating herself for hurting him. ]
[She makes a vague, non-committal sound. Only a few hours? Way to make her spend days filled with self-loathing and worry, Frank. Her hands flex before dropping her heels to the floor, and she chooses to watch them fall rather than look over at him.]
You're better now. That's all that matters.
[The words are tense, and forcibly measured. She's not angry with him, but also isn't sure how to further express that what he did was really shitty. She also doesn't want to admit that she's bothered by the fact she wasn't able to help him. That whatever happened, she wasn't the one to make it better. ]
Will you be there tonight?
[She's not dependent upon him, she just likes his being there. Karen Page doesn't need any man to get through the night. The time he was staying was the happiest she can remember being in a long time though. Is there anything wrong with wanting to feel that happiness on a regular basis?]
[ she doesn't make it sound like it's all that matters, and he flops onto the end of his bed, immediately drawing his knees up to his chest like a little kid. ]
Do you want me there?
[ it's delayed some, catching up to her question long after she'd asked it. it feels selfish, to be by her side now especially. but if she needs him he wouldn't be anywhere else. ]
[The way he's sitting tugs at her heart, making her feel guilty for saying anything at all. Sighing, she goes over to sit on the edge of his bed next to him. She leans over, resting her head against his shoulder.]
I want to be with you, Frank. Whatever that means in a place like this, I'm not sure. But I want you there.
[ his head dips down, making room for her on one broad shoulder, even if she presses into his healing bruises. the pain spikes, but stays manageable. she isn't the only one who feels stupid for saying something. ]
Then I'll be there.
[ a promise is a promise, and somethng tells him elektra and matt have things to work out too. it makes him feel less bad for wanting this in return; and for not worrying too much about the man who was practically dying in his arms mere hours ago. ]
[easier. he doesn't really have an easy mode, and he looks around the room. it's far from home, even if he's been away for a while. it had inexplicably felt good to be back. he's realizing something else, too: that they'd always been in her room during his dark time. even if he'd seen ghost in here, maybe it would be better to get a change in scenery - even if the two rooms are identical save for the choice of eccentric neighbors. ]
Can we? [ he asks softly, not wanting to put her out either. he thinks he could get over his reservations if she really wants to stay in her room. ]
[She has to laugh, because they are both so stupid right now. So dumb that it's painful. Her hand slips over to nudge against his chin, turning his head toward her. He gets another kiss, and she's careful not to let it linger. She isn't sure if he's ready for that yet. When she breaks away, she's smiling.]
[ he's as pliable to her touch as always, allowing her nimble fingers to direct him towards her. his breath draws in sharp as their lips touch, like there's sparking electricity between them, a livewire's current just under the surface of his skin. she doesn't give him time to return the kiss this time, and that's okay, though he finds himself licking his lips idly as he processes her smartass remark. ]
Okay. I'll pick you up from work?
[ a good-natured joke, maybe. or that's its intent. he knows what she's doing is important, and that he often gets in the way or just plain distracts her. he's better off as a stay-at-home. ]
Yeah, well-- [ o-oh, she's getting undressed. his throat dries up, whatever dumb comment he'd been about to make dying on his lips. he's completely forgotten about her offer to clean up even though it could only have been moments ago. ] Karen. [ his voice is tentative, maybe even fearful in its way. most of all he's just confused about what it is she's doing taking her shirt off in the middle of his room. ]
[She hears the shift in his tone and pauses, eyebrows arching as she glances back up at him. Maybe she should go back to her room to take care of this, since she doesn't want to freak him out and make him run away again.]
[He's painfully embarrassing. With a fond roll of her eyes, she resumes where she left off, shedding her blouse and folding it up to set aside. She starts to work at the back of her pencil skirt but ends up going to stand with her back turned to him so he can unzip it for her.]
Don't worry. I'm waiting for you to make the next move.
[And after what happened the last time they tried fooling around, it means that it's likely to never happen again ever.]
[ the next... oh. he unzips her skirt, fingers feeling numb and clumsy. enough so that he has to poke at his fingertips and make sure they still work. when her skirt falls away he looks up at her, his breath catching in his nose audibly. she really can't put this ball in his court because he won't ever hit it. that doesn't mean he won't think about it, like, all the time. especially after what almost happened between them. ]
Karen, I- [ he shuts himself down, swallowing and looking back down at the floor again. what if he can't ever do that with her? ]
[She steps out of her skirt that's pooled at her feet and turns so she's facing him. So much between them can go unspoken because they seem to communicate so often through look and small gestures alone. But there's some things that people should talk about, and this was one of those things. He's clearly uncomfortable, and she wants to know how to proceed with her attraction to him without crossing a line.]
[ an uncategorized emotion ripples through his chest and he's reaching for her wrist because he needs the lifeline. he likes looking up at her this way and he places her hand on his cheek so he won't feel strange for doing so. for the reverence and admiration that shines in his eyes when he does, tipping his head back to take her in completely. he doesn't want to talk about this, it's something he's never really talked about before in his life, but it was never all that complicated then. now it's nearly impossible to navigate even with karen guiding him through the dark. ]
[Sometimes it feels like they go in a series of predictable circles with their conversations. She knows that it's not because they're slow or because they like bringing the same things up. It's because they're both broken in ways that mean they need the reassurance. They need to know that they're doing the right thing as far as the other is concerned.]
Frank.
[Her fingertips press a little more firmly against his cheek, and she almost wishes that this is a conversation they could have with touch and looks alone.]
If you don't want to have sex after what happened, it's not going to disappoint me. And I'm not trying to get you to now. You know that, right?
[ he holds tighter to her wrist instead of letting her go, leaning his face fully into her hand and blinking tears out of his eyes he didn't even know were there. ]
I know. I didn't- [ he just panicked, in retrospect it was silly. ] It's not just because of what happened.
[ he has her hand in a vice now, legs descending so their knees press. ]
I haven't... [ yeah he still can't say the word 'sex.' it's a hardship just to talk about this in vague terms okay!! ] Not since Maria. I don't know if I can.
[ not without falling apart, anyway. maybe it's for the best the station stopped their moment, if he only would have brought it crashing down around them anyway. ]
[This conversation is treading into dangerous waters. His grip on her wrist is tight enough that it would hurt someone more fragile than she is, and his words cut through her and make her want to cry along with him. Not because he's hurt or upset her, but because she hurts for him. She knows she can never be Maria to him. She doesn't want to replace his wife, and she doesn't ever expect him to feel the same way toward her that he did Maria.
They had children together. A family.
Karen can't ever hope to give him something that valuable.
But he isn't trying to compare her to Maria. He's trying to tell her that he isn't sure if he'll ever be ready to be with another woman in the same way he was with his dead wife. A lump forms in her throat and she swallows it down.]
We don't have to.
[Her words are soft and she isn't sure that she's really said them out loud.]
If - [She pauses, licking at her lips. Her eyes meet his, and she hates how they both have tears.] When I'm ready again, if I try and you're not, we don't have to.
[Her connection to him isn't purely physical, at least not on a sexual level.]
[ for him it was never about comparisons, though his body isn't always so kind about that. karen can't sleep on "maria's side" of the bed, he can't talk about or do even certain mundane things with her he did with maria. but it's not because she'll never mean as much to him, they're just two very different relationships. this one is so much more honest in so many ways. even this conversation now is a testament to that. ]
So you're gonna try again?
[ he quests, lips tugging up though the smile never quite lands on his face. his hand loosens a little as he scoots even a little closer, putting her legs between his. his neck is starting to ache, but he doesn't want to stop looking up. she's so beautiful this way, and he's afraid if he looks away he really will see brown hair and dark eyes, beckoning him towards the light. ]
You're relentless, Page.
[ definitely not a criticism, said in that same light tone as he unconsciously mimicks her, licking his own lips. he wants to keep pressing the issue, but this has to be her choice. frank simply isn't capable of making it, or he'd still be trying to avoid her. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I kind of figured that out when you kissed me.
[ his heart beats a little quicker, to lay it out like that. it also helps that matt had asked him about elektra like 50x before she even showed up, but really: it was the kiss. even frank castle isn't that dim. ]
no subject
We should go get cleaned up.
[His room is close by. They can use it.]
no subject
Okay. [ his voice sounds a little rough, distracted maybe, but then he's getting up from the mostly clean (good enough) wall and snagging a hand around her waist to yank her up alongside him. ]
no subject
Nothing else is said as they walk the short distance to his room, Max close on their heels. Her eyes look around his space as they enter it. She's been here before, but the circumstances around her being here are a little different this time around. ]
When did the pain go away?
[Now that they're in private, she can ask him about this.]
no subject
frank reluctantly lets go of her to unlock the door from his communicator, but apparently he'd forgotten to lock it in all the excitement anyway and the door slides open for the three. he ducks inside, immediately going to remove max's boots and rub his doggy legs in sympathy before going to remove his own. ]
It's... Now, looking back, I think it was only a few hours. But at the time, it felt like it would never stop. [ he swallows, glad his face is turned down and away from her. how does he explain the weird psychosomatic trauma that lingered far after the physical pain ended? that he had to be alone to figure it out because he couldn't stand the thought of her hating herself for hurting him. ]
no subject
You're better now. That's all that matters.
[The words are tense, and forcibly measured. She's not angry with him, but also isn't sure how to further express that what he did was really shitty. She also doesn't want to admit that she's bothered by the fact she wasn't able to help him. That whatever happened, she wasn't the one to make it better. ]
Will you be there tonight?
[She's not dependent upon him, she just likes his being there. Karen Page doesn't need any man to get through the night. The time he was staying was the happiest she can remember being in a long time though. Is there anything wrong with wanting to feel that happiness on a regular basis?]
no subject
Do you want me there?
[ it's delayed some, catching up to her question long after she'd asked it. it feels selfish, to be by her side now especially. but if she needs him he wouldn't be anywhere else. ]
no subject
I want to be with you, Frank. Whatever that means in a place like this, I'm not sure. But I want you there.
no subject
Then I'll be there.
[ a promise is a promise, and somethng tells him elektra and matt have things to work out too. it makes him feel less bad for wanting this in return; and for not worrying too much about the man who was practically dying in his arms mere hours ago. ]
no subject
Okay.
[They had come in here to get cleaned up, but that's forgotten as she tries to navigate whatever this is between them.]
We can stay here. If it's easier for you.
no subject
Can we? [ he asks softly, not wanting to put her out either. he thinks he could get over his reservations if she really wants to stay in her room. ]
no subject
I don't give a shit where we stay, Frank.
[Which is a yes, they can stay here.]
no subject
Okay. I'll pick you up from work?
[ a good-natured joke, maybe. or that's its intent. he knows what she's doing is important, and that he often gets in the way or just plain distracts her. he's better off as a stay-at-home. ]
no subject
The bridge, at ten. Is that a subtle hint that I should make myself scarce until then?
[She hopes not, because she's moving to stand up so she can unbutton her blouse. It's a convenient time to remember she wanted to wash up.]
no subject
no subject
You said we could get cleaned up.
no subject
Yeah, sorry. Shit. Go ahead.
no subject
Don't worry. I'm waiting for you to make the next move.
[And after what happened the last time they tried fooling around, it means that it's likely to never happen again ever.]
no subject
Karen, I- [ he shuts himself down, swallowing and looking back down at the floor again. what if he can't ever do that with her? ]
no subject
You what? Talk to me.
no subject
I just don't wanna disappoint you, is all.
no subject
Frank.
[Her fingertips press a little more firmly against his cheek, and she almost wishes that this is a conversation they could have with touch and looks alone.]
If you don't want to have sex after what happened, it's not going to disappoint me. And I'm not trying to get you to now. You know that, right?
no subject
I know. I didn't- [ he just panicked, in retrospect it was silly. ] It's not just because of what happened.
[ he has her hand in a vice now, legs descending so their knees press. ]
I haven't... [ yeah he still can't say the word 'sex.' it's a hardship just to talk about this in vague terms okay!! ] Not since Maria. I don't know if I can.
[ not without falling apart, anyway. maybe it's for the best the station stopped their moment, if he only would have brought it crashing down around them anyway. ]
no subject
They had children together. A family.
Karen can't ever hope to give him something that valuable.
But he isn't trying to compare her to Maria. He's trying to tell her that he isn't sure if he'll ever be ready to be with another woman in the same way he was with his dead wife. A lump forms in her throat and she swallows it down.]
We don't have to.
[Her words are soft and she isn't sure that she's really said them out loud.]
If - [She pauses, licking at her lips. Her eyes meet his, and she hates how they both have tears.] When I'm ready again, if I try and you're not, we don't have to.
[Her connection to him isn't purely physical, at least not on a sexual level.]
no subject
So you're gonna try again?
[ he quests, lips tugging up though the smile never quite lands on his face. his hand loosens a little as he scoots even a little closer, putting her legs between his. his neck is starting to ache, but he doesn't want to stop looking up. she's so beautiful this way, and he's afraid if he looks away he really will see brown hair and dark eyes, beckoning him towards the light. ]
You're relentless, Page.
[ definitely not a criticism, said in that same light tone as he unconsciously mimicks her, licking his own lips. he wants to keep pressing the issue, but this has to be her choice. frank simply isn't capable of making it, or he'd still be trying to avoid her. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)